(Vince and his rebels have built a colossal barricade in the middle of the village, in order to stop Sam from charging them).

Narrator Riley: Thanks to Sam's takeover, Vince has even more rebels in his army. The revolution is coming...dis gon b gud...

Vince: We have an unelected leader! A man so sinister that he ousted our previous evil dictator! A man who killed an innocent pair of young incestous lovers in the street! An evil man!

(Cheria appears out of nowhere).

Cheria: Gentlemen, how would you like to buy some quality ammunition at an affordable prices?

Vince: Why not?! It means I'll have a little more money to spend on those prints of Katie's avatar.

Cheria: (smirks) Well, this seems like a good business partnership.

(Cam and Masta are walking towards the village).

Narrator Riley: On the road, Cam and Masta are planning their revenge...dis also gon b gud...

Cam: I'm going to slice off Collin's cock and feed it to him!

Masta: I'm going to slice off Chandler's cock and also feed it to Collin!

Cam: He'd like that...

Masta: Oh yeah...

(They eventually reach a large wooden barricade, a red flag flying from the top).

Voice: Who goes there?

Masta: Your super sexy and utterly perfect boyfriend!

Kaley: OMFG it's Nick Jonas, I can't beli- oh, hi Masta.

Masta: Hey Klee. I mean, Kaley.

Kaley: I see you're learning. You only used to do that when you wanted sex.

Masta: I want sex.

Kaley: Uhhhh...why the hell not?!

(Kaley bends Masta over and starts to hump him from behind, while an uncomfortable Cam climbs the barricade).

Vince: Ah, Cameron, welcome to the revolution!

Cam: How long til they get here? I don't want Masta and Kaley to be shot while they hump.

Vince: What?! They're humping?! During the revolution?!

Cam: Yes. Quite enthusiastically, actually.

(A firework goes off).

Vince: Well, they'd better hurry, that firework means that Sam is here...

Cam: (mumbling) Oh bloody hell...MASTA, KALEY, GET YOUR ARSES OVER THE BARRICADE, NOW!

(Masta and Kaley clamber over the barricade just as Sam's army turns into the street. They follow Cam into a nearby building).

Sam: Are you ready to give up yet, Vince?

Vince: I would rather die...

Sam: You will the hands of my perfection...

Song: Perfection

(Vince looks around and sees that all of his rebels are dead).

Vince: Vive le revolution!

(Sam shoots Vince in the face, killing him).

(Masta, Cam and Kaley run outside, and a dark cloud is above them).

Cam: How odd, it was sunny when we went in there...

Kaley: That isn't a cloud.

(The monkeys descend, with the people in their group riding at the front).

Katie: Is it time to kill Collin now? Finally?

Cam: Collin's gone too far...he even has Sam on his side now...

Kaley: Haven't you heard Cam? (everyone looks clueless) Have none of you heard? Collin is dead!

(Le gasp)

Cam: So Sam's the leader now?

Kaley: Yeah, and he just killed Vince.

Sam: And now I'm gonna kill all of you too.

Kaley: Not likely Sam, we have friends.

(Sam looks up, sees the monkey army, and screams like a little girl. He runs away, his army following him. Derk starts randomly chanting at them, and eventually everyone, even the monkeys, has joined it. One colossal voice jeers at the fleeing army).


(Cheria and Kovarro lurk in the sewers, looting the corpses they have dragged down from the barricade).

Narrator Riley: In the sewers, another plan is going ahead.

Kovarro: Do we really need to do this?

Cheria: YES! She commands it...

(Cam, Kaley, Masta, Katie, Perry, Juan, Naruto, Lav, Derk, Bloxx, Kenny and Doge are planning their next move).

Cam: I had a plan to deal with Collin, but Sam is different...

Masta: That fucker stole my song...

Katie: I think we should just overrun them, hit 'em before they expect us.

Kaley: Sam's too smart for that, we can't fight him in the open, he'll slaughter us.

Kenny: Then we fly to his lair.

All (except Kenny and Doge): Sam has a lair.

Kenny: Sort of. I once had an unfortunate meeting with AxelTWD, the old leader here. Axel kept Doge and I locked in his evil lair. I think that Collin must've taken that lair, and then Sam afterwards.

Katie: Why do you think that?

Kenny: Because of those darn monkeys. Axel had a collection of them, and Bloxx told me that they were sent after you guys by Collin.

Juan: This is true. AxelTWD once captured many of my masters, leaving me a housekeeper with almost no masters.

Naruto: But once we were let loose, we plotted our escape, and it worked.

Bloxx: So Kenny, can you take us there?

Kenny: No, but I bet these fellas can.

Naruto: We can. Climb aboard, we'll fly you in.

(Derk tries to clim onto his monkey, but Masta stops him).

Masta: Give me the hammer, Derk. I want to kill him myself.

Derk: Take it, you're a cool guy. Never let it be said that Derk doesn't help his niggas in their time of need.

Masta: My nigga.

Derk: My nigga.

Derk: Keep this up, we might let you join $QUAD.

Bloxx: $QUAD

Narrator Riley: $QUAD

Dead Ghost: $QUAD

Dead Hippo: $QUAD

Dead Dom: I can't remember if I'm still a member of $QUAD, but $QUAD.

(Sam is in his lair, pacing).

Sam: What the fuck am I gonna do? Oh fuck, what the fuck am I gonna do?

(Narrator Riley laughs).

Sam: Shut up Narrator Riley, you're meant to be impartial.

Narrator Riley: LOL no. I'm with $QUAD.

Sam: You've gotta be fucking kidding me!

(Sam bangs his head against the wall).

Sam: Evil army! Prepare for battle!

(The monkeys land outside the lair).

Katie: Run in that way! We'll go in through the skylights and surprise him!

Kenny: You got it sistah. Thanks for everything.

(Katie, Juan and Perry fly away with Naruto and his monkeys).

Masta: Let's get him!

(Everyone cheers. Masta waves the banhammer in the air, charges forward, and kicks down the door. Sam's army of anons is waiting for them).

Derk: Looks like these pussy bois do want war.

Kaley: (whispering to Masta) Find Sam, we'll take these bastards.


(The armies charge at eachother. Kaley, Derk, Bloxx and Lav cut their way through a small group of poorly armed anons).

Derk: Come on then you fgts! I'll take you on and so will my fucking niggas!

(Kenny is being backed into a corner by Maddog and the three anons in his empire).

Maddog: So much for Kennyism, bitch...

Kenny: Oh, there's a mad dog here alright, but it's not you...

(Doge jumps into the air and rips out Maddog's throat).

Doge: Much bad idea to mess with Kenny. Such silly Maddog. So idiotic. Wow.

(Cam is surrounded by random video game fans, but he simply blasts them with fire).

Cam: That's for Terry St John.

(Masta is advancing towards the giant door at the end of the room, but a group of anons stand in his way).

Anon 1: We'll be taking that hammer.

(The skylight shatters and the monkeys rain down).

Katie: No you fucking won't.

(Katie, Juan, Perry and Naruto's monkeys fight off the anons, allowing Masta ro reach the big door. He opens it, sees a cowering Sam, and closes it behind him. Sam stands at prepares for a fight, holding Drummer's severed boner like a sword).

Song: Confrontation

(Masta kicks Sam in the balls, and when he doubles over, caves in his head with the banhammer).

Masta: Fuck you, bitch...

(Masta walks out into the hall, to discover that Sam's whole army is dead).

Masta: Buckley is dead.

(Everyone is on their knees, around something. Most are crying).

Masta: Wait, what's going on?

(Masta walks over to see Kaley lying on the floor, with a dagger in her chest).

Kaley: M-M-Masta...did you-?

Masta: Yeah, I got him Kaley.

Kaley: Sorry hun, but that won't get you sex this time...

Masta: (sobbing) Don't you dare fucking die Klee, don't you fucking dare...

Kaley: Bye were almost as good as Nick Jonas...

(Kaley dies in Masta's arms).

(Cam's hut, which is bigger on the inside, is being used for a party, to celebrate their victory. Masta stands on the stage with a solemn face).

Masta: Excuse me bitches, but may perfection have your attention?

(Everyone goes silent and stares at Masta).

Masta: After a vote, we've decided on a new supreme elder. Please welcome him to the stage. Come up here Kenny!

(Kenny joins Masta on the stage).

Kenny: Hey y'all, I'm Kenny, if ya don't know me. I'm in charge around here now, I guess, and I promise to be a cool guy. I have a gift for y'all too, I can use my power to bring back two of your dead. I'll let y'all put it to a poll. (He lowers his voice) I'm sure your gal will be one of them Masta.

(Masta hugs Kenny gratefully before leaving him and joining the party, happily. Derk approaches Kenny).

Derk: Kenny you is my fucking nigga. Wanna join $QUAD?

Kenny: Okay Derk...I guess I urban.

Derk: You hearing this Bloxx? Kenny is our urban now.

(Bloxx and Derk put their arms around Kenny).

Bloxx and Derk: My urban, my urban.

(On the other side of the room, Naruto and Juan are talking).

Juan: We owned those idiots.

Naruto: Those bastards got monkey'd.

Juan: Yeah, me and Perry got a couple of them real good. She tripped them and I whacked th- wait, where is Perry?

(Down in the sewers, Cheria and Kovarro have Perry strapped to a sacrificial altar).

Perry: Where am I? Who are you?

Cheria: We're just friendly innkeepers.

Perry: Wait...Katie told me about're those scumbag thieves.

Kovarro: I suppose you could say that.

Perry: Well why the fuck have scumbag innkeepers got me strapped to a stone table?!

Cheria: It's an altar actually. And unfortunately for you, you're just easier to capture than Katie or Kaley. You see, we need to sacrifice a female.

Perry: Sacrifice?! What for?!

Kovarro: You really think we'll last under Kenny's reign? No, of course not, so we need to get rid of him.

Cheria: You really think we stole just for ourselves? Of course not, but altars cost a lot of money you know. We were going to do this anyway, but Kenny's appearance made us go for the budget model instead of the designer one.

Perry: Do what?

Kovarro: Bring her into being.

(Cheria stabs Perry in the heart, killing her instantly. Cheria and Kovarro chant as Perry's body mutates into a hideous humanoid creature).

Cheria: Arise, my idol.

(The creature stands).

Cheria: Absorb it, absorb the music.

(The creature roars and musical notes seem to appear in the air, before being absorbed by it's body).

Kovarro: What do we do now, Cheria?

Cheria: Whatever the mistress says.

Creature: We've all got jobs to do. Ours is to plan to kill the Kenny. I'll be bringing back the dead.

Cheria: Thank you for your wisdom, Miss Greene.

(The creature grins evilly).

Creature: Please, call me Beth.

(Everyone at the party is still dancing).

Song: We're All in This Together

All: Oh my fucking god, we can't sing.i

Doge: Much cliffhanger. Wow.

(A rotting and frostbitten Hippo reanimates at the foot of the mountain).

Hippo: Must...kill...Kenny...

Notes from KatieEdit

So, that's the ending of "The Walking Dead Wiki: The Musical!". The sequel, which will be non-musical due to the birth of the monstrous Beth Greene, will be released shortly. Stay tuned for a thrilling war between her and the mighty Kenny, in "The Walking Dead Wiki: The Non-Musical!".

Death TallyEdit

  • Hippo- Thrown over a cliff by Bloxx
  • Ghost- Killed by Collin's thugs
  • Dom- Got reckless
  • Grave- Executed by Collin and Axel
  • Hippo- Thrown over a cliff by Kenny
  • Phazon- Shot by Sam
  • Zora- Shot by Sam
  • Anarchy- Burned by Cam
  • Anarchy's socks- Turned to dust upon Anarchy's death
  • Relic- Had his neck snapped by Masta
  • Collin- Shot by Sam
  • Drummer- Shot by Sam
  • Vince- Shot by Sam
  • Maddog- Had his throat ripped out by Doge
  • Sam- Had his head caved in with the Golden Banhammer by Masta
  • Kaley- Stabbed by anons
  • Perry- Sacrificed to Beth by Cheria and Kovarro


(I only included characters who would work in the sequel)

Which two war losses would you like to come back to life?

The poll was created at 15:32 on April 22, 2014, and so far 8 people voted.